One of the most important tools that I have learned about and applied to my life is Gratitude. If you feel like life is pretty crappy, don’t go into victim and blame mentality. Turn to gratitude instead. When you turn to gratitude you will find that life is pretty great. Gratitude is where it all starts. It is so SIMPLE and so POWERFUL. There are so many ways to use gratitude. I will share one of the ways in the following experience that I had in December.
I had been on a tempo since October. My comfort zone was stretched to the max; well at least it felt like it was. I’m sure it could have stretched some more. It was nice to have some down time after I returned home from the zone event. I had a lot on my mind. I wanted to be pro-active and problem solve to find a way to pay for my programs. When I signed up for HeartCore Endurance I said that I could give up my van. I wasn’t that attached to it in the first place. I was thankful I had the van, but I was willing to let go of it so I could have something better. That’s what the law of sacrifice is, giving up something good for something better. Some other ideas that came to mind were: teaching another workshop, seeing if the credit limit could be raised on our credit card, applying for a personal loan and looking for a job. Matt and I called about the credit card limit. The customer care person got the info and said we would know in 6-7 business days to see if we qualified or not.
A few days later I was sitting on the coach reading with my girls. I had seen some messages from Matt’s work about needing extra coverage. It was at a time when he would be awake. Awesome! I brought it up to him and he checked. I thought he would for sure take it. We could use the extra money. He came out of the office and was heading outside and I asked him if he took the shifts. He told me no. I asked him why? He said something about it would just cause problems. He didn’t say anything else about it and went outside to the garage to work on a Christmas gift he was making.
I felt really irritated. I took it as he didn’t care to do what it takes. I felt that he was leaving it all up to me, that it was all on my shoulders. I was going to have to do it alone. I kept reading with the girls, but my mind wasn’t all there. I was fuming inside. Matt came back inside with the mail, and handed it to me. I finished reading with the girls and opened the envelope from Chase bank. I was really hoping that this was the reply about our credit limit. Oh it was a reply all right, just not the kind of reply I wanted. We didn’t qualify. My heart sunk. I tried not to panic and freak out.
I got off the couch and went into the office, sat down and started looking for jobs. I couldn’t focus. I needed help. I sent Allyson a text asking her if she was available to talk. She text me back that she wasn’t. She asked me if I was in crisis mode. I sent her a reply back saying on the verge of going into crisis. She said she would call me as soon as she was finished. I got my coat and shoes on, grabbed my purse and car keys, and went to the garage. All I could say to Matt before I got into the van was that we were denied on the credit limit.
It seemed like Matt didn’t care. It really hurt and I felt alone. I didn’t know how I was going to take on an extra job and do everything else. I was trying to stay in control of my emotions. I decided to try talking to the manager at Reams to see if they were hiring at all. I was in and out like the blink of the eye. They weren’t hiring. I made it to the van and the tears started streaming down my face. I had officially hit crisis mode. I couldn’t breathe. Who was going to hire me? I wasn’t qualified to do anything. I felt worthless. I panicked; I had to find a job of some sort. I got myself to stop crying enough to where I could drive again. I decided to try WinCo Foods. Shortly before getting to WinCo I decided that I was going to sit in the parking lot and let my tears dry and work on calming down. I wasn’t in any condition to go and try to apply for a job. Turns out that wouldn’t be happening either because just as I pulled into the parking lot Allyson called me back.
I answered her call and tried not to cry, but that is what I do when I’m upset. I cry. I told her about what had happened. I noticed as I told her my hands started to tingle. Allyson only had a short time to talk. It was her husband’s birthday and they had plans for that night. I understood. Allyson told me she was putting me on a loop of sending my energy what it needed throughout the night. She wanted me to go home and make a list of all the things I was grateful for now in the moment. She wanted me to do my restorative yoga. Take time for me to get myself vibrating higher.
I was still pretty emotional when I hung up with her. My hands were still tingly. I was feeling a little light headed. It was so hard to breathe. I for sure was heading straight home. I was in no condition to talk anyone especially a manager. I hoped that I would make it home ok. I drove and tried to breathe. When I pulled into the driveway and opened the garage and saw Matt sitting in the garage I was filled with dread. I really didn’t want to talk to him for fear that I would blow up at him. I pulled in and parked. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
Shortly after doing that Matt tried to open my door. It was locked and so he knocked on my window. I opened the door and he asked me if I was alright. I told him no, I wasn’t alright. I asked him why he turned down overtime when it was at a time he could work. Why would it cause problems? He then told me that he wouldn’t be able to do it because he had no Taser gun training. I asked him why he didn’t just say so. I told him the way he said no and just walked outside, really showed me that he didn’t care and that it really was all on my shoulders. I told him we needed to get all of the hours that we could get. I told him that we were in this together. He may just have to work without a day off. I might just have to work without a day off. I told him it wouldn’t be permanent. We needed to be willing to stay in action and do what it takes.
By the time Matt and I were done talking my hands had stopped tingling, I could breathe deep, and I wasn’t light headed. I felt calmer. While I prepared a quick dinner, I thought of things I was thankful for in the moment to keep my mind from spiraling down. After dinner I got my notebook and I started listing things I was thankful for in the moment. Within minutes of writing what I was thankful for I noticed that I felt calmer and that everything would be ok.
Gratitude is a practice. You keep getting better at it the more you apply it in your life. I have been writing in a gratitude journal every night for the past 3 years. I write 5 or more things that I am thankful for each night. Doing this always brings a happy feeling right before I shut my eyes to go to sleep.
When you feel yourself starting to spiral downwards take action! Grab a pen and paper and start listing all the things for which you are grateful for in that very moment. You can even say out loud or think it in your mind what you’re thankful for. It could be as simple as saying I’m thankful that I have food in my fridge, or that I’m thankful that my kids and husband gave me the greatest hug. By listing what you’re thankful for you will raise your vibration and attract more positive into your life. You will see just how blessed you really are. I’ve had so many opportunities to practice my gratitude. I’m happy to say that it works every time. I’m so thankful to Allyson for teaching me gratitude and how to apply it in my life. Choose to be grateful no matter what!